Eight Reasons to Feel Better About Being Single on Valentine’s Day

Ahhh, Valentine’s Day: when people all over the Burgh/world pretend to be in love so they can show off their ugly flowers, candy that will make them fat(ter), and false promises of love.  Well guess what?  Some of us CHOOSE to be single…and not just because there’s a very good chance we’ll be spending the rest of 2014 in prison.  Honestly, who knew that jaywalking (pantless) was a crime?

Anyway, everybody’s familiar with the mushy, lovey-dovey crap that companies like Hallmark emboss onto stuffed animals…but BurghLife discovered several messages that are way more realistic. All eight of these gems are below, so check ’em out, and remember:  if these don’t make single people feel better about being unloved, nothing will.

I think i gaveGuess Who Just Got Out JailI wear your nightie Not Sure You're Our Baby's FatherI'm not quite as repulsed  Deal BreakerSame Question But FatherGain More Weight


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